Yes, when I saw her wild white hair, heard her angry, possessed voice calling out...my body had some auto responses. My tummy dropped. I shook. I felt numb. Think of the movies, y'all. These encounters are that eerie. She is typically dressed the nines in 1950s era silk clothing & jewelry. And handbag. But her face is contorted and her eyes are always faraway.
As I processed my fear, I first made certain the kids were indeed all the way in the car (we were loading them up for school, all 3). Then, I called to Tanner. I honestly don't know what I blabbed, I was still trying to NOT BE AFRAID at this point.. Then something clicked. Then a wave of peace was over me & I knew what I had to do.
I could now REALLY listen to her grievances. "You guys cut off my power!" she cried as she shook a fist. She kept walking up our drive and glared. "My power is out! You did it! Everyone is dead!"
"L^, our power is out, too. Many of us have power out. Tanner is talking with OG&E to get it fixed. We did not cut off your power, hon." My voice was even, calm, and gentle.
And then, much to my surprise, she softened. Not totally, mind you. As much as she probably could. But it is as if a tiny, tiny light in her eyes vacated the static that I've seen over the past year (in the three times of seen her fairly close). "Your power is out, too?"
"Yes, dear. Isn't it just awful? It is no fun, huh." I fearlessly walked a little closer to her. (holy crap, I can't believe I'm not scared!!)
"I've been going up and down your street. Everyone is dead! The devils!" Now her typical bewildered, untamed expressions seem to hold more of an innocent, helpless perplexity. Her anger mask revealed more of the fear.
I tried not to look too shocked at these statements by her. It may have been 9 am, but it was HOT for a 84yo woman in full cocktail attire to be wandering these streets.
"Hon, let's get you some ice water (meet eyes with Tanner, we communicate a lot in our stares) and have you rest a minute. You must be hot. And tired. Here, how is this chair on my porch?" By this time Tanner has gone inside to make an ice water and she has warmly received the offer.
As she drank the cool water, she relaxed...as much as she can. She went into a myriad of stories about ghosts in walls. One of them is a lesbian that tries to kiss her every night. Some of her 'devils' behind her live in our house and range from a school teacher (male, so not me!) and a praise & worship leader. She talks about voices she hears, the gift she has to hear them, and the devils. We quickly turn to the biggest issue at hand: Who does she think we are?
We assure her multiple times that we have lived in that house just over a year. She keeps trying to wrap her mind around that. Now, most certainly, gentle reader, you recognize that we are at this point attempting reason with one who is not totally in reality. And it was more me than Tan that wanted to explain who we were. Perhaps he recognized the attempt is probably futile. I recognized that tho a sliver of a chance, she just may lose some of her fear/rage/anger of the people who live behind her.
Futile or not, I was going to try. Maybe, just maybe some of it would stick. After all, other things have. She asked if my husband was a school teacher. "No." She shared a few of the things that, evidently, the woman* who lives BESIDE us has told her. She softened & appeared to semi-process the idea that we maybe, just maybe, could be a good neighbor.
I assured that Tanner felt a peace about being left with her, and said my goodbyes. After all, my sweet kiddos had been patiently** waiting in the A/C of the car during this. As another good gesture, I rolled the back window down and smiled at her: "L, these are my sweet kids. Say Hi boys!" And she smiled. Tanner drove her around the corner to her house & dropped her off. This just blows my mind to picture. I can't even list or fully describe the many, many nights she has stood in her windows shaking her fist, calling out (this was back when there was a mere chain link fence) in rage. She has called Tanner every name in the book, including ones that weren't allowed to be published in the book. She has damned him to hell so much that I really had begun to wonder what spirit lurks in this gorgeous old home of ours. And apparently they had a quiet, gentle truck ride around the block. They said goodbyes and she safely returned home.
I may or may not have a direct encounter with her for another 6 months. She may be incredibly angry at us when it occurs. (That is highly likely, because she otherwise seems to keep to herself). She may or may not remember anything from our conversation on the porch with the ice water. The entire encounter may have been self-serving, as I got a resolve that I had longed for since I moved into this crazy, wild area. I finally got to demonstrate to her what I'd been hoping to all along.
But the ice water. She definitely needed the ice water.
^privacy respected
*the woman next door is an entirely new path of stress. i've never been targeted with what I can only describe as 'evil' as directly & painfully as this, and if only for therapeutic (and documentation) purposes, I plan to unfold that entire story here in chunks soon.
**patiently for toddler= intervals of calling out to momma, a teeny bit of sibling fussing, but overall not too shabby
I assured that Tanner felt a peace about being left with her, and said my goodbyes. After all, my sweet kiddos had been patiently** waiting in the A/C of the car during this. As another good gesture, I rolled the back window down and smiled at her: "L, these are my sweet kids. Say Hi boys!" And she smiled. Tanner drove her around the corner to her house & dropped her off. This just blows my mind to picture. I can't even list or fully describe the many, many nights she has stood in her windows shaking her fist, calling out (this was back when there was a mere chain link fence) in rage. She has called Tanner every name in the book, including ones that weren't allowed to be published in the book. She has damned him to hell so much that I really had begun to wonder what spirit lurks in this gorgeous old home of ours. And apparently they had a quiet, gentle truck ride around the block. They said goodbyes and she safely returned home.
I may or may not have a direct encounter with her for another 6 months. She may be incredibly angry at us when it occurs. (That is highly likely, because she otherwise seems to keep to herself). She may or may not remember anything from our conversation on the porch with the ice water. The entire encounter may have been self-serving, as I got a resolve that I had longed for since I moved into this crazy, wild area. I finally got to demonstrate to her what I'd been hoping to all along.
But the ice water. She definitely needed the ice water.
^privacy respected
*the woman next door is an entirely new path of stress. i've never been targeted with what I can only describe as 'evil' as directly & painfully as this, and if only for therapeutic (and documentation) purposes, I plan to unfold that entire story here in chunks soon.
**patiently for toddler= intervals of calling out to momma, a teeny bit of sibling fussing, but overall not too shabby
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