1-1-11

The day of ones. The day of starting from the very beginning. Happy New Year, people!

Our NYE was quite uneventful as far as "doin' the town, counting down, etc." Tan was sick, and I'm hitting that phase in preggo-ville where sitting/standing one way, particularly in crowds, has zero appeal.

I did, however, really enjoy myself at a little family get together. I didn't realize that so many cousins were going to be in town & it was great to catch up. Little cousin (well, son of my cousin) Levi is 4 and he is hilarious. He wanted to give about 6 of us a speech about "tips for life." The summary was this: don't forget your underwear, don't tee-tee in your pants, don't wear a bracelet on your head. It went on for at least 20 minutes, but those are the finer points I recall.

My bump was in full force so my far-away relatives got a kick outta seeing me so rotund. Many of them won't see me again til after the baby.

Welp, no resolutions from this corner. I mean, I have goals...like cleaning the house & getting a nursery going. But I'm not going to resolve anything. Ok, maybe I will. But I hopefully strive for this every year: Just act out of love. I want to do this as a friend, a wife, a mother (so weird to say that!), a sister, a daughter, a student, a teacher, a neighbor. Yup, that sums it up!

Enjoy your 2011!

Blah.

I tend to get holiday blahs no matter how great life is. This is the most exciting one by far--- first one married, baby on the way. Oh, I take that back, NEXT Christmas will be our first with our little guy so I am certain that will top this one. ;) But, nevertheless, I kinda get Xmas blues. I say it with an X because, let's be honest, it quickly turns into commercialism frenzy instead of still, peaceful reverent acknowledgement of the Savior. I hear the shopping/panic/stress gets worse with kids.

I watched a funny "The Middle" last night where the parents tried to have a 'Simple Christmas' and it was a big joke. But I seriously want to do that. Really, I do. I'm gonna have to get creative, but I don't want my kid(s) to get in gimme-gimme mode when December hits. I really hope I can get Tan on board someday to have the whole fam go serve at a soup kitchen Christmas Day or something. I ALWAYS wanted to do that with my nuclear fam but got vetoed every stinkin' year. And of course, I didn't want to go do it by myself, not to mention I'd get guilted for missing Christmas lunch. :)

I get it, I know it's fun to give gifts. Maybe I'm thinking about it differently this year because we are poor as church mice this time 'round and the giving is limited from us. But I've never been excited about a holiday where everyone is hurrying to get generic gift cards, Bath & Body, and such just so that they can check that name off the list. Birthdays are way more fun for gift-giving because you really do (hopefully) put more thought & time into honoring that person. And baby showers--it's fun to pick little people clothes for your friends. Wedding gifts are boring to shop for. Ok, let's not forget the "for no reason at all" gifts...I don't do those like I should. Those are the best gifts of all!

Ok, my dark cloud will quit hovering on your holiday. All mall-frenzy and commercial-jingles aside.........MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

Sleeping is becoming a fantasy...

...another mom told me in her 3rd trimester she started naturally waking at 5 am & pals told her that it was "God preparing her."

Dear Lord God Jehovah,

I don't need any Christmas gifts. You give me food, clothing, and shelter and I am grateful. Can I ask one more teensy little thing? Can the life you gave me that is growing inside my belly please love sleep like I do? I'll be so attentive & patient with him. I'll be super vigilant if it is after 9 am. I know at first this is not quite possible, but after the every-2-hr-feeding stuff, will you help him be on a wonderful sleep schedule? I love you!

~Lisa

I may have thrown in the 'Jehovah' part because last night I got on a tangent reading up about Jehovah's Witnesses. I was already pretty 'schooled' on those crazy Mormons (I like to play guitar. I love to garden. My name is Lisa & I am NOT a Mormon!)

But JW's still eluded me. I grew up near one of their windowless chapels & knew ONE girl who actually went there. I knew they didn't do birthdays or Christmas, but that was really all I knew. Well, here's what I learned last night when I should've been asleep already:

1. JW's have predicted the coming of Christ like 5 times & keep getting it wrong. Their leader claimed it was for sure gonna happen in 1914--and when it didn't, he claimed it was an 'invisible coming' and that Jesus has actually already been here & back. Oh, they also fudged in 1973. Now, just for CYA strategy, their leaders claim "we don't know the exact date but it will happen soon."

2. They pretty much isolate themselves from all things government because it is "of the world." They don't vote. I suppose they DO pay taxes just to stay outta jail so that they can keep going to their windowless chapels.

3. Holidays are not acknowledged because they are also "of the world," thus no birthdays, Christmas, DEFINITELY no July 4. Oh, and Thanksgiving is actually pagan.

I know there's tons more, but that's enough of the iceberg for me to ask...why? Why do people subscribe to these types of groupthinks? I mean, I totally understand being raised in something & it just 'feeling' the most comfortable when it comes to your faith. I still feel such a natural sense of comfort when singing a capella music & hearing a man preach because my 'faith of origin' did not subscribe to instruments in church or women speaking (at all) at the pulpit. But those AT LEAST are based on super (duper) conservative interpretations of ACTUAL Bible verses. It's at least based off something (yes, if you are curious I'd gladly give ya the scriptures...I'll always give my childhood church tons of props for wanting their fold to be very schooled on the Bible).

Anyhoo, I am always super fascinated about learning why people devote their lives and their life choices to ideas & laws that men create. I think there is a sense of security. Wish they'd just give their insecurities straight to their God, their Creator. It's so less complicated. And you get to have a birthday. :)

Happy almost-Christmas!!

It is officially getting cold now. We get teased a lot here in Okie-land...sometimes seasons will extend & then BOOM we are hit with a flatbed truck of the next. I had the top on my convertible down just 3 days ago & now I sit here bundled up INSIDE because we can't find the tool we have to use to turn the floor furnace up higher....and it's about 35 degrees outside. But I'm cozy. :)

I'll be joining Laura and little Connor for church this morn, then promptly heading out to El Reno for my neighbor's wedding. Oh yea, better go run my song (First Time Ever I Saw Your Face) in a moment.

Yesterday was full of craziness...beginning with the the fact that my dad GAVE us a car! It's a 1999 Toyota Forerunner in excellent condition. He was ready to sell it & chose to bestow it on the Hubberts instead. We are very very excited about this because this is a blessing to us on so many levels. I like the sign he had next to the bow: Here's Your New (slighly used) Baby Buggie!! :)

That's really all I got. I could probably think of a tangent to go on, but I really need to boogie. Just thought I'd document a few things going on. Happy Sunday, stay warm!

Focus on the Positives

Here's my own personal exercise in positive focus. Because quite frankly I'm PO'd right now. I won't go into the efforts I put into getting us in the weatherization program thru OG&E. Three episodes of letting strange men into my home for assessments only to have it all not work in the end. ARgggghhh!

So, I'll take this moment (before I go work on Psychodiagnostics....for real!) to recount a little blessing yesterday. It'll seem so small to just write it, but in the moment it was huge!

Let me explain: I am a breakfast gal. Not a cornflake girl. (I love Tori!) No, but I have to have some hearty calories when I wake. It's the meal I count on for total day function. So, I've been working at the little Catholic school downtown, and the only part I detest is getting up & out on these now-chilly morns. I have savored not working full time for the first long period of time in my entire adult life...so staying cozy is my idea of a good morning.

Thus, my motivation to get out the door is leaving early enough to stop somewhere & grab a quick breakfast. It's usually a breakfast burrito somewhere.

There are only a few choices along my route...so while Mickey D's is not my ideal breakfast choice, their dollar burrito gets the job done. With a soda, of course. I was all the way through the line and at the window when I realized that my wallet was still in my schoolbag from yesterday & not in the purse I was toting! VERY very bad. Function was not possible.

I zoomed off to get to work after apologizing to the drive-thru lady. (maybe someone got to eat my order, so maybe good for them?)

I can do this, I can suck it up & not have any 'fuel' for the morn. Heck, I may eat kindergarten snack with the kiddos at 10:15. :) However, one of the teachers greeted me when I walked in with, "Mary works at Starbucks & brought us muffins today!" I wanted to hug her! Yes, I get breakfast after all! To celebrate I also poured a small cup of coffee (which I mostly avoid during preggo time).

The teachers at this school are truly some of the nicest women (ok, there's one man). They have treated me so kindly even though I'm just the random college student that comes in a few half days. Many of them don't even know exactly what it is I'm doing. (it's kinda "21 Jump Street" eh?) But they've included me in their fold right from the start. And the nuns are so sweet.

But on this particular day, they saved my sanity! Thanks! Hail Mary! (heehee)

"watching" TV

...because I really don't watch it in the traditional sense anymore. It's on, there's noise...but with computer on lap, I'm instead writing a blog, checking facebook, playing solitaire, paying bills, reserving library books, finding out the weather forecast, buying tickets to an upcoming event. You name it. I'm doing everything BUT keeping up with the (stupid) plotline of said sitcom. I suppose this is okay. But it really does make me stop & wonder....are we all (mostly all) changing the actual neurological course of our brains because of all the constant multi-stimulation we've got going on?

Yes, it is a struggle these days to go to a coffee shop to study & write a paper on my laptop withOUT stopping to access the internet. What was once thought as a study aid (get instant background facts! spellcheck!) has turned into one of the largest impediments to my studies. (Got to see if my friend wrote me back!).

And I know it's my own fault. The internet does not control me; I control it....right?

I am sure there are already some valid studies on this very psychological phenomenon...I've just no time to read them. I've got a status update or blog to write.

The Baby Section

I was caught offguard when it happened tonight. I was truly just trying to use some soon-to-expire coupons and load up on some recipe ingredients at the local supercenter. Yet a temptation I couldn't resist occurred after I grabbed my (couponed) Oxiclean. You see, the laundry detergent aisle is just across from...the baby section.

Oh, I've been to the baby section many, many times. It's often been in haste--hurrying with 4 pages of registry items in hand, trying to pick out just the right gift before I am late to the afternoon baby shower. I suppose for that purpose I've been visiting the baby section for the past 16 years (I became an aunt at 16, so I started young with the baby gifts!). And, yes, there were times when I wasn't in such a hurry and I'd linger & coo over those cute little bibs with just the right quip. And, tell me, does anyone have too cold a heart to not smile when you see those little shoes, even if you're merely passing by? Yeah, I've found joy in the baby section before, sometimes with a little bit of dreaming/fantasizing to boot.

Yet tonight was different. Really different.

I started out just wanting to get a better comprehension of what the giant boxes of Pampers were gonna be costing us. Then I started looking at all the expensive gear I'd need: strollers, playpens, carriers.

But that didn't overwhelm me just yet. Before I could get too caught up in number-crunching...a sea of blue caught my eye from the next row. Blue onsies, blue socks, blue bonnets, blue shorts. My eyes filled with tears almost instantly.

My little guy is gonna wear those.

I'm gonna be the mother of a precious little boy.

From there I was a blubbering baby myself. I waltzed on over to those little boy jeans & button-up oxford shirts and was at that point hoping no one was noticing me. If anyone would've strolled by it is quite possible I would've asked them for a hug. I had to call my friend, a mother of a 1-yr-old boy, and just lament about how exciting (and emotional) this was. "Is it normal that I'm getting like this, Laura?"

And of course she told me she was just as nutty once they found out their baby's gender.

I just needed a reality check. After all, I am aware that there are all kinds of crazy hormones racing through my system.

Hormones or not--I'm okay with getting a bit sentimental. I've waited a long time to be in the right 'place' to be a momma. Hand over the mom jeans & the cornball jokes...I want to join this club now.

I just can't wait to meet my little guy. I think I'm in love already. :)